Monday, August 30, 2010

Research Note: On Race, My Ass, and Passing

So, the other day, I was out and some random guy (approaching from behind) comes up to me as says..."Oh, I actually thought you were Latino. You have such a round ass, not flat like most Asian guys." Now, I don't mean this to be a post about how I have an awesome rear-end, because I really don't think I do...nor do I really think about it at all. But what I think is interesting is the implicit statement being made here about racial identification and passing. There is a blunt, but i think still illuminating, metaphor at play.

My current review of the literature has forced me to look at the issues of assimilation as a process of whitening, an idea propogated by many prominent sociologists such as Herbert Gans, as well as a few scholars in my home department. I find this equation to be highly problematic. In their recent book, Jennifer Lee and Frank Bean look at the racial identification among mixed race couples and their multiracial children. Their main finding is that there is greater flexibility for multiracial Latino and Asian American couples and children than for multiracial black couples and children. (Of course, the other spouse in almost every case considered in white.) Given this greater flexibility, the rule of hypodecent does not apply to Asian Americans and Latinos as it does to African Americans. Lee and Bean take this fact to demonstrate that the US racial hierarchy is now organized (or will be shortly) along a black/non-black divide.

Anyone who knows me, my politics, or my academic work, will know that I take issue with this. While I do not deny the systematic oppression of African Americans in both historical and contemporary contexts, I do not necessarily see the value in reproducing a dichotomous schema for understanding the racial structures in place in the United States. Racial hierarchies and oppressions are context specific. While African Americans may lay claim to be the "most" oppressed in aggregate, such aggregation provides little traction for effecting substantive progress toward social justice. As Cherrie Moraga reminds us, "The danger lies in failing to acknowledge the specificity of the oppression"...but I digress, because even if we take the aggregated oppression of African Americans as our primary measure to construct a black/non-black framework, the evidence provided by Lee and Bean is flawed.

In their discussion of hypodecent, the examples provided by Lee and Bean do not adequately take into account the role of phenotype in racial identification. While Lee and Bean rightly point out the racial identity is a complicated amalgamation of self-perception and ascription, they way and individual looks and how those looks are interpreted in social contexts remains important. Many of the individuals highlighted by Lee and Bean could be considered atypical within the multiracial community (i.e., a half-Japanese, half-white man with blonde hair and blue eyes). Lee and Bean also provide celebrity examples that bolster their point. Keanu Reeves and Cameron Diaz are both read as white by mainstream audiences despite their multiracial Asian and Latino heritages, respectively. Lee and Bean point to Halle Berry who is a biracial woman read as black by global audiences. The problem with bringing up these examples is numerous counterfactuals also exist. For example, are actors Russell Wong, Lou Diamond Phillips, Jessica Alba or Kelly Hu marketed as white? Are Rashida Jones or Mariah Carey always recognized as black? Furthermore, there is a history of "passing" within the African American community connected with the legacies of slavery and the ability to be percieved as a "free white person." Suffice to say, there is a lot of racial ambiguity in the multiracial population and what Lee and Bean point to, then, is the ability for some multiracial individuals to pass as a monoracial individual, be it black or white...or something else. But this option does not exist for all multiracial individuals, nor does it seem to evidence a black/non-black divide.

Returning to the story about my "Latino ass," there also limits to passing in terms of being "outed" as multiracial or as a different race entirely. If colorlines were truly shifting, such outings would not matter...being labelled white or black, or non-white or non-black would not matter. Simply being recognized as white does not provide a passing individual with safe haven if someone notices their family name or meets their parents or otherwise finds out about their true heritage. So, maybe my ass can pass for Latino, but as soon as I turn around...I am outed as Asian. There are limits to passing, oppressive limits (what legal scholar Kenji Yoshino describes as covering), and such limits must be recognized as we discuss any potential shifts in the American color line(s).

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Workout Regime - Day 4 P90X...and...New Lifestyle.

As it turns out...not only am i not really fit enough to make it through the whole first day of the workout...but i also am not flexible enough for the yoga session. I knew the flexibility is something I really needed to work on...I am super tight and I think loosening up a little bit would help out in a lot of different aspects of my life...in particular my chronically sore and tight back as well as my speed and agility in soccer (really the hallmark of my game). So, while I didn't do so well today with the yoga workout...I am excited to continue in the process and gain strength, flexibility, and hotness.

In other news, I got a bike today. As stated in a previous post, I am without a vehicle in the Bay because, well...I killed my car. Brilliant, I know. So, for the past week I have had to rely predominantly on public transportation which is handy, but not the most convenient of ways to move about. So, today, my lovely roommate, Katie, took me to go buy a bike...I will refrain from telling you where I purchased said bike in fear of retribution. I bought the cheapest bike I could find which happenned to be a mountain bike, which came in handy for reasons I will divulge in just a moment. I also purchased an air pump, helmet, lights, and a lock. (Oh, and I also got 20 lbs. weights for my P90X fun.) So, I am all set and all safe for my rides around the east bay and, particularly, to and from campus. Woohoo!

Katie drove me to the store to buy the bike, but we couldn't fit a bike into her car, so I had to ride my bike to the nearest bart station to get the bike back home. Not a big deal, I thought, seeing as how the nearest bart was only about a mile away and a station i was somewhat familiar with. Familiar, that is, when traveling by motor vehicle. The path was much more complicated by bike and I ended up for a while riding on the gravel beside some non-bart train tracks after being informed by a very nice homeless gentlemen that I could get to the bart that way. Now, obviously he was telling the truth as I did end up at the bart station. However, I don't believe that was the correct or most direct route to take. But as I said before, the mountain bike came in handy rather quickly riding through the uneven, unpaved path next to the train tracks...I don't think a road bike would have handled that as well.

So, this was a good first lesson in my new life choice as a bike rider. Hopefully, future rides will be simpler.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Thoughts on my Research

Yesterday, I attempted to start writing again toward my dissertation literature review. Having tackled most of the classical literature in assimilation and immigrant incorporation theory, I am now turning to the recent literature in Critical Whiteness Studies. For me, and others who study race and issues of immigrant-origin communities, the connection here is that implicit within the theories of assimilation is a process of whitening. As immigrants assimilate, the become (more like) white. This presumption is also predicated on the understanding of race as a social construction. As immigrants assimilate, US society reconstructs race to include these newcomers into whiteness. Now, any one who knows me should realize that what follows is going to be something of a diatribe against this idea...and so it will be. This is what I wrote yesterday. Thoughts and insights are appreciated as it is a work in progress.

The statement: "race is a social construct," is an important truth. However, it seems that some scholars within the social sciences and elsewhere have stretched this truth beyond its analytical usefulness. To state that race is a social construct is not to say that is a meaningless cultural fiction, nor does it mean racial lines are easily moved, erased, or even blurred. To speak of social construction is to acknowledge the lack of foundation in biologically based hierarchies, but also to take seriously that such construction does not occur within a vacuum of unlimited space. The social construction of race occurs within the confines of innumerable and simultaneous social constraints, including those created, entrenched, and reified by the construction of race itself. The concept of social construction portends a boundless freedom to construct and deconstruct social concepts and norms. However, with the multiple and complicated nexuses of equally social constraints, it turns out that "freedom is a tiny place."*

*This quote is actually from Prof. Carter Butts, stated in a seminar in the Fall of 2008...not sure if I really need to cite this...thoughts?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Workout Regime - Day 2 P90X

Before you get your panties in a bunch...yes, I realize that I didn't have a post about Day 1 of the workout regime. I will cover it here...you know, some of us have better things to do than write blogs all day for your reading pleasure! Haha...I kid. I love that you follow along in my day-to-day rantings about life. (Wouldn't it be funny if no one actually read this blog and I am basically having this monologue to myself...making it a soliloquy, perhaps? But, then even this aside is to no one...whoa, this is getting a little to meta for me. I am feeling light headed.)

At any rate, I began P90X yesterday. The outcome was not great. I made it through a little more than half the exercise. (FYI: It was chest and back.) Now, I like to think of myself as a pretty in-shape person...but I didn't make it through. What even disappointed me more is that I woke up this morning and wasn't even sore. Which, to me, means I didn't push myself hard enough. I am so lame.

So, today, I did day two, but instead of doing the plyometric exercise prescribed by the program, I decided to skip to day three and do shoulders and arms. The reason for this is that I am playing pick up soccer this evening and figured I probably didn't want to have dead legs when I got there. Also, since I didn't do an adequate workout yesterday, I figured I needed to do lifting again today.

Today went better. Made it through almost the whole thing...but realized that the abridged weight set I own may make this process a little uneven. I only have 15, 25, and 30 dumbbell pairs....the jump from 15 to 25 is a little big, so I might have to invest in some 20s...but we shall see if I can convince Katie to drive me to some place to buy some...but I sure as hell am not lugging 40 pounds of weight on public transportation. (Like my passive aggressive way of asking via my blog? Lol. Kidding Katie.) I was working out mostly with 15s today, which was fine, but I worry slightly about the weeks to come and having to jump from 15s to 25s...but I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Suffice to say, I have learned two things from my 2 days with p90X. First, I am not as in-shape as I thought. Second, I need to push myself harder. As working on the second point will help with the first...I will focus there.

Oh, and one more thing. I have been thinking about whether not it is necessary, or tasteful, to put progress pictures up on the blog. Something about displaying my half naked body for my close friends seems awkward. Do people have thoughts or preferences on this point? I am kind of ambivalent about it.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Long Distance Love Song

This is a piece I wrote a while back, but I thought it was fitting given my ambivalent feelings about leaving home again...even for a short while.


Here I am
Once again
Saying good-bye
To you
My love

An occurrence to frequent to be accidental
You must wonder how I remain faithful
I always return to you
Changed but somehow
Untouched

I will have walked cold winter streets
Framed by concrete giants, man’s monstrosity
Stealing light earlier than nature intended
I begin to think this excursion, this experiment
Lasted five years longer than was necessary
Forgetting, or willing myself believe
That I would be willing to give up any of these moments

The holidays
The special days
The Mondays, the Thursdays
And the late night phone calls
Tell me I have lost much more than a mere three hours
The cycle repeats

To be honest
I am tired of leaving
Tired of the 2 and 2 packing scheme
Tired of the short stays and long good-byes
Looking to you through distant windows
And yet
I can’t seem to stay
Seem born to run
In search of a dream
A freedom I have yet to find

I will miss your warm kiss
Once on each cheek
My forehead
As I close my eyes on breeze-cooled beach sands
I will miss your long shadows challenging palm trees too tall for their own good
Refusing to fall

We refused to fall

My chest feels heavy from the altitude change at take off, my ears pop
I will look out the window
You look so small
So simple, so put-together
You will go on without me
You will understand my transient ways
Because you know it will only make me love you that much more

We stabilize
My chest is still heavy
My heart is still heavy
As this plane keeps flying
Creating miles between you and me
I begin to wonder if the heart knows proximity
If the heart knows the difference between 300 and 3000 miles
I feel your pull
Tapping my shoulder in reminder
Come back to me soon
Come home soon

I have left you in the darkness
Under the cover of night so you may not realize I am gone
When sunlight hits again there will be no cheeks, no forehead to kiss good morning
You will remember me
Because I am yours
That I am you, where ever my feet are planted should be of no surprise
You will wake up to the new day without me
And I will wake in a new bed
But live each tomorrow knowing that
I will always come back for you

Friday, August 20, 2010

Lucky Me.

The trip to the Bay was eventful, to say the least. After an early morning breakfast with my parents, I embarked on my journey north at around 9:45 AM. I made good time through LA and the Grapevine and was into the Central Valley sometime around 12:30 or 1 PM.

As I approached Buttonwillow, I was having some trouble accelerating and noticed the engine light was on and subsequently that my temperature gauge was at its max…I immediately moved into the slow lane. At this point, the car began to struggle and died. I was probably a few hundred yards from the next exit. Luckily, I was able to coast on the shoulder onto the offramp and into the gas station parking lot just off the highway. It was mere coincidence, I think, that I noticed the indicator light and temperature gauge when I did and happened to be so close to an exit…which for those of you who are familiar with the 5 through the Central Valley know they are few and far between.

So, with the car overheated and engine smoking, I called my dad. At this point, I was extremely frustrated and kind of freaking out…in the middle of the state and not sure how to deal with the problem. After discussing options with my dad, I called AAA (I’ve been a member for 43 years, perhaps a side story for another day) to try to get a tow to the nearest mechanic to get a diagnosis. Now, my level of membership with AAA only provided for 7 miles of towing and the AAA agent said the only mechanic listed in the area was 20 miles away…not good. The agent suggested that I ask the tow truck driver when he came if he knew of a closer repair shop. Ok, great.

Fast forward in the story, my dad decides that he would rather take care of any problem with the car back in OC, so he wants to tow it back home. He figures out that he can rent a tow bar or trailer for fairly cheap and decides he will drive up to get the car. He also tries to figure out how to get me a different car to continue my trip up to the Bay. I tell him that he shouldn’t worry about that, if I can’t make it to the Bay that day it was fine…I would just come home and figure something else out.

Enter the second coincidence. My older sister, who lives in Sacramento, happens to be in San Luis Obispo yesterday. San Luis Obispo is roughly on the same line of latitude as Buttonwillow/Bakersfield. What’s more, she happens to be going to San Francisco for a wedding directly from SLO. Even more coincidental is that she called my dad (for an unrelated reason) just as this crisis was unfolding. So, it was decided that my sister would drive east to Buttonwillow to pick me up and take me with her to SF. My dad and mom would get the trailer and drive to Buttonwillow to pick up the car and bring it back home.

Wow…so much luck. Beyond all the coincidences, and more importantly, I am struck (although not surprised) at the length my family is willing to go for me. For all my stupidity and consternation I must cause, they are (and always be) there for me when I really need them. I can’t ask for more than that.

I wrote an email to my family to express my gratitude and my mom responded with a nice description of what family means to us: “Part of being a parent/family is not deciding whether or not you will go to help each other, but rather how fast you can get there to help.”

What does all this have to do with 90 Days of Change? Well, on the one hand, it’s a pretty interesting story in its own right. On the other, I think it teaches me at least one valuable lesson: the importance of family, selflessness, and unconditional love. The generosity of my family is something I can only hope to repay and pay forward to the family in my future. So, these is yet another aspect of change I will begin to be more giving and selfless, because in the end, its all about family.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Introducing 90 Days of Change

So, not that anybody reads this, but perhaps actually posting things will attract more attention and a small readership.

As many know, I am going to be up in Berkeley for this fall quarter to study under Dr. Evelyn Nakano Glenn and Dr. Michael Omi as I prepare for my dissertation proposal. Since this will certainly be an intellectual journey, I thought I would also attempt to improve myself physically and mentally (in a non-academic way). As such, I am instituting 90 days of change. 90 days of change has four (maybe five) components:

1. Ruminations and writings on the dissertation proposal
2. The Dana and Paul Project (18 Items of Clothing for 3 months)
3. Shopping Embargo (actually instated prior to the 90 days and will continue after)
4. P90X
5. Maybe...return to some of my poetry writing and performance.

Obviously, the dissertation proposal is the main reason for me to come to Berkeley. This should, and will, take top priority. Hopefully, I will not bore you with too many posts about my research...but it may happen from time to time. I look forward to comments and feedback in this less rigid and less strictly academic space.

The Dana and Paul Project is a permutation of the Fashion Diet of 6 Items or Less for 30 days. I am simply taking advantage of the fact that I will be away from the majority of my wardrobe at least until Thanksgiving and hopefully lightening my packing load. However, I hope that this will also reveal some important lessons in simplifying my life, my closet, and other possessions. There is a separate blog for this project where both Paul and I post...the link is listed above.

The shopping embargo, which compliments the Dana and Paul project quite nicely, began as a result of me moving back to my parents house. The process made me realize (at least) one thing...I have a lot of crap. So, I put myself on a shopping embargo which includes pretty much anything you wear/carry. Of course, another added bonus to this embargo is the money that will be saved...what grad student can't benefit from that?

On the physical end of the spectrum, I will also be undertaking P90X, or some similar facsimile. This is mostly because I am too cheap to buy an actual gym membership and hopefully will be able to do the workouts in Katie's living room/my bedroom. We shall see how that works out. I will also continue playing soccer in the Bay and recently joined a team in a local co-ed league. I basically signed up for this time blind...so hopefully that all works out as well. I am debating on whether or not this portion of the project should include pictures of my progress...but wonder if its really a good idea to have so many people see pictures of me without a shirt on...more to come on this debate and feel free to chime in.

And lastly, and most uncertain, is the return to poetry. I still write from time to time when the mood strikes me, but I am thinking I could be more regimented. I am not entirely sure how all of this will fit into my new schedule, but I will do my best. I am sure my good friend in Berkeley, Margaret Rhee, will push me to pursue this aspect...so that will also help.

Speaking of time constraints, yes, I realize this is a lot to try to accomplish in 90 days. But really, I think I am just trying to prove something to myself. I feel like I could be more productive with my time and I could just be an all-around better person. Hopefully this 90 days will help in that pursuit. So, feel free to follow along and let me know your thoughts, they are much appreciated.