Some Poems About White Women...and others?

I believe in the power of love
A love that is neither simple nor pure
Love is never just love
A love that is more complicated than the journey we dreamed
But worth every troubled second
A love, well-intentioned and survives in this world
I am searching for this enduring love
_____

So what if I’m principled
If dating a white woman would make me a sell out of the highest order
Less empowered, less agent
Less authentic in the claim: Asian American

That I might be so lucky to touch something so pure and powerful
That maybe just a little would rub off as you held me close
Would transfer from your bare skin to mine
Rub harder, faster
So maybe just a little of that power might be mine
If only in those moments
Isn’t that why we all wanna fuck white women?

And why wouldn’t I search for that diamond in the rough
That needle in a haystack worth one million stitches to sew me into the fabric of America
You and the soft alabaster skin of your inner thigh should be my American dream

And maybe I am not so worried about having to explain this relationship to my friends
As I am of convincing myself that this is beyond the divide, the racist bullshit
That I am man and you are woman and that is all that matters

Maybe, what I need is a white woman who understands why I don’t date white women

You can chalk it all up to reverse racism
It will be easier that way, much simpler to consider
No mess of colonial love for the colonial master
Subordinance to domination
Its all for a realm outside the context of an intimate relationship
You were in only this relationship
It is only you and me
Well, this is me
And if you speak truth then accept this for me

I hear you
Calling to me
Love knows no color
But what you refuse to see
Is that to love me is to know color
And if you can’t see that
Then you were never really down for me anyways and this was never love
And all we’re left with is color

You have every right to be angry
Claim damages for the pain I inflicted over a love so innocent
Hate me for the things that went wrong that you still can’t understand
And scream in my face, “Fuck you!”
But I guess that’s where this all started in the first place
______

This was a bad idea
I knew
When you placed your head on my shoulder
With your hand resting on my chest
My arm found its way around the small of your back
I pressed my forehead into your hair
And all I wanted was to lean in further
Place a kiss on your cheek
But I resist

Instead I close my eyes and simply enjoy how your body feels next to mine
Allow my mind to venture to places I cannot allow my lips to tread
Imagine that maybe we were not so intertwined
That a relationship did not have to end in heartbreak
That we could be better, this was not a bad idea
But we only take calculated risks
The measured action, just short of everything we may have wanted
This is my melancholic kiss